Distinterest or Distraction

21 Feb

Have you ever left someone hanging? You know, someone asks you for your number and you give it to them, they call, you don’t answer. Or they text, you don’t respond?

I’ve done it and have had it done to me. I often question if my being on the receiving end is in some way some karmic shift for payback. So I ask should I attribute this to disinterest or distraction. Let me define the two: disinterest-the moment has passed or never existed between you and the party in question. Distraction-something is getting in the way.

You meet a guy/girl, you hit it off, and then the interactions continue via text and phone. The communication and connection all seem to be in place and then the person just disappears for periods of time with limited to no response. Then they magically re-appear and act like not a minute has passed since you last spoke. Maybe you get the courage to bring it to their attention and are met with the responses of “I was super busy with work” or “I’m not really a phone person.”  You want to give them a pass, but in reality it really pisses you off .

SO what are you to believe? Are they really that busy? Or are they no longer interested in you and can’t seem to muster up the courage to tell you?

I honestly have no direct answer to this issue. I do however have a few hypotheses:

1. If they were as interested in talking to you as you are to them, they would contact you. However, there is a small disclaimer: some men cannot multitask. They actually can go a whole day (or longer) without calling contacting a woman that they are interested in, unless it’s about money or sex. Most women however are programmed to multi-task and rarely do they go long periods of time without talking to those they care about. If you cross their mind at least once they will probably act on it (via text, call, Facebook post etc.)

2. They are no longer interested in you. Maybe something you did, said, or perhaps just getting to know you better has let them know that they aren’t really feeling you. However, they don’t want to hurt your feelings, so they keep ignoring you, hoping you will just disappear.

3. In these times we are all fulfilling multiple roles. Maybe they really are busy with the demands of life.

4. They could be in a relationship and talking to you is not only inconvenient, but risky.

5. Perhaps they are surprised by their feelings for you and how quickly those feelings are growing, which activates their fear sensor, causing them to run and hide.

Whatever the reason (and I’m sure many of you want to believe hypothesis 5), relationships of any kind do not mature if communication is lacking. Ask yourself, if this person never changed this quality, would I still be enamored by them? The answer is probably no.

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