“Getting to Know You”

21 Jun

It is essential that you get to know yourself. Sure, it may seem that you already have accomplished such a task, but what I have found is that most people do not know themselves. They have an idea of who they should be, maybe even what other’s expect them to be, but they have not defined themselves for themselves, and as the great Audre Lorde says, “If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.” Knowing and therefore defining yourself is a means of self-preservation. A required method to ensure that your true existence is not compromised.

Getting to know yourself takes time and space. It is pretty challenging to achieve this with background noise surrounding you. Which means that you are going to have to spend some time isolated. This is not a bad thing. It will help you to focus on what is truly important to you, which will in turn help you evaluate and re-evaluate your preferences and needs, and assist you in defining your value system. This is the very foundation of what you will stand for, tolerate, demand, expect, and fight for.

Once you have developed this value system you will need to be confident in it enough to defend it because believe me, once you start defining yourself, people with start challenging you from all sides (family included). At times you may feel lonely and separate. People may downplay your choices or even belittle you for choosing, but what you must remember every step of the way is that you are just as important as those around you. You matter and so do your preferences and needs. So regardless of the feedback and criticism you receive, you deserve to be true to yourself.

And that is where the true freedom comes. Being true to yourself allows you to live the life that you want to live and no one else’s. You are responsible for that freedom however because it requires that you take the time you get you know yourself.
 

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