if he pushes you he likes you…

1 Aug

Sometimes guys can be so harsh! I’ve had interactions with males that fall into the friends and lovers category that leave me thinking WTF? In 32 years I haven’t been able to grasp how someone who says they like you can also tease and lash out at you. What is there to gain from that except for the title and resulting discomfort of being emotionally unpredictable?
I mean, how is it that the move from cuddling to cussing happen so seamlessly? I’ve started off conversations with “good morning” that end in me being on the receiving end of a tirade that breaks down how selfish and stuck up I am! WTF? My girlfriends and I have exchanged countless stories of the guy who was super hot and then turned icy in a matter of minutes. Oh and what about the guy (who considers himself my friend) telling me that if he hadn’t “known me before, he wouldn’t be talking to me now”. What was I supposed to gain from that, that I should feel lucky to be in his company?! WTF?
These random (or perhaps not so random) interactions and responses just arouse unnecessary discontent creating a wedge between people who supposedly like each other. Shouldn’t we be building each other up instead? Showing love to one another because we feel that’s what they deserve-since we value the relationship and care about their feelings.
Or better yet, the guy who says “you can do what you want with your feelings” when you state that something he did or said hurt your feelings. The short guy who rags on you about wearing heels or cracks on you for wearing short skirts, when in fact, he met you that way. In the heat of an argument he “slips” and calls you a ho because you mistakenly shared too much about your past when you mistakenly took his word at face value when he said you could trust him. Even though he has even reaped the benefits of your so-called “ho-dom”.

Here’s the deal: Men and women are not all that different. Sure we are psychologically wired differently and are anatomically different, but we all want unconditional love and respect. We want to be valued and have our opinions validated. Most of us, don’t want to fight. We prefer peace. We also all have our baggage that has affected who we are as people, now and then rears its head in both positive and negative ways, but we are not from different planets (despite what the book says). We all deserve the reciprocation of giving and receiving regardless of how much of a woman or man that we exhibit or claim to be; Simply because we are people we deserve these things. In reality we could not exist without each other, so the hurt, humiliation and subsequent isolation that occurs is just as ridiculous as it is futile because face it, we need each other. So, please refrain from pushing unless of course you are encouraging me toward greatness because that is the only way that a push can be useful.

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