“Mirror Mirror”

7 Nov
Finger pointing

Image via Wikipedia

I have a hard time calling people on their crap. Partly because I question if that is truly my responsibility and I’d rather conserve my energy for something else with the better odds of return on my time investment. Now, this wouldn’t be so much of an issue if their baggage and missteps didn’t often become mine. The irony is however, that people do not exercise such caution with me.

I am no stranger to feedback. Thanks to those around me I now know that I am arrogant, stubborn, stuck-up, concise, stingy, too-quiet, conservative, at times loose-lipped, while disguised as the victim. After being on the receiving end of a verbal dumping I am often left to my devices as to how I am going to address all these observed flaws. And yes, these are my family and friends (Lord knows what my enemies would say).

But I often wonder, why people are so comfortable knocking you down, but don’t equally extend the effort to build you up. Or at least give you the blueprints to do so.

Here’s why: If people stay distracted, they can neglect their own issues long enough to forget them. They are no more a picture of human perfection than you are. They’re just hoping that while they are giving you your critic’s notes, that you will not notice. That’s not to say, that points of accountability from others are to be dismissed; I have learned a lot about myself, my intentions vs other’s perceptions of me as well as how pivotal it is to truly know myself, so that I can define myself and grow comfortable in defending that definition. I just also know, that I am not alone in this. So as opposed to beating myself up, I can take it all with a wink and a strut as I go to work!

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