Tag Archives: Black people

Dirty Laundry: Good Hair

11 Feb

Good Hair?! My heart almost stopped when I heard a few of my family members use the term. Why? Adults can choose to believe whatever they want about themselves. They can build themselves up or foolishly put themselves down by superficial traits such as hair texture, but it is serious issue when we transfer our warped vision to children.

Aren’t children in and of themselves beautiful just because of their innocence and unadulterated will to be happy and joyous; untainted by life’s criticisms? You can’t tell me that the hair texture is a determining factor in that. And it shouldn’t be. There should be no separation and discrimination based on the tightness of curl in hair just like there shouldn’t be a differentiation based on skin color. In a world where people are fixated on labeling in order to categorize a person to then decide how to deal with them, we do not need to place additional labels on ourselves that create division.

Whether Afro Puffs, tendrils, braids, waves, silky, kinky, nappy,curly, or bone straight all hair has its good and bad days and in whatever state it chooses to take on or be put in, it is beautiful. In these modern times, we need to focus more energy on the things that truly matter and since we have yet to hear that someone’s graduation rate or college acceptance was based on their hair, we have more important aspects of our community that deserves our attention.

“The Blame Game”

15 Aug
Jungle Fever

Image via Wikipedia

“You Black women have issues. That’s why I’m gonna start dating women from another race!”

Sounds ridiculous, right? Well I’ve actually heard that on a few occasions and each time my response is laughter followed by a barrage of questions (due to my naturally inquisitive nature).

Don’t get me wrong, I can understand the frustration. Us women feel it too at times, but the threat of dating outside of your race as a solution to your “problem” just seems ludicrous to me. Well first, because if certain members of my family hadn’t made the choice to date/marry outside of their race, I wouldn’t be here. I’d be short some family members and some of my friends wouldn’t exist. So the statement alone doesn’t present a threat to me. It also doesn’t upset me that these men want to date interracially, I am more upset at their immaturity. Boys blame their issues on others, not men. So essentially these guys are throwing their toys down and stomping off because they cannot get their way.  Instead of looking at the specific situation and individuals involved, and taking accountability for the role they played in their sour circumstance, they would rather play the blame game.


Successful relationships are made up of two mature adults. You can date anyone from any race and at the end of the day you would run into the same issue because the problem doesn’t lie with the women, it lies within you and possibly your choices (because it is a possibility that the “women” you are choosing may be the problem). Work on that first, and you’d probably increase your success rate.

Sweat it Out

3 Oct
Woman in a rowing boat

Image by National Media Museum via Flickr

As a black woman, how many times have I heard that the reason why black woman don’t exercise is because they don’t want to sweat their hair out. First of all, to all that believe that statement, shame on you for falling victim to the ever-present stereotype. For those women who actually choose to sacrifice health and a fly body for your hair, do you know how ridiculous that is!?

Hair is a superficial thing that we have given entirely too much influence over our lives. Yes, it is a crown. But only such. And shouldn’t keep you from protecting that which actually gives you life (your heart), or the sensation of adoration that you feel for your hair (your brain). Exercise is essential to the health of your overall body which includes the hair. We all want to look good, but having a fly hair style and a fat ass (not in a good way) or better yet, high blood pressure is projecting a false reality that you are actually fly. Being fly, hot, or whatever term you use to describe your flawless style is all-encompassing and should be a reflection of what you are inside as well as what you are on the outside.

Ladies: IT’S JUST HAIR! I would rather a world of beautiful healthy people and let’s face it, if you drop dead due to health issues associated with inactivity, no one will appreciate your hair anyway! So, lets work to erase that notion and sweat it out.