Tag Archives: Rationalization (making excuses)

“It Feels Good”

25 Jun

Are you driven by the feel factor?

I am amazed at how many people are driven to make choices and sometimes, rest in indecision, in an effort to reinforce feeling good.  We have become averse to change within our lives or externally because the feelings associated with that change make us uncomfortable. We at times even perpetuate dishonesty as a means to maintain the feeling. The truth though is that in doing so, we are cheating ourselves out of reaching our true potential. None of us are perfect, and acknowledging that means that some adjustments have to be made within our lives and how we choose to interact (or avoid) with the world. Change can be challenging and the feelings associated with them can leave us in a state of discontent, but not much in life is permanent and those feelings are often fleeting. We are all works in progress and “without struggle there is no progress (Frederick Douglass).”

“When Will You Call”

1 May

It’s always helpful to stay in touch with your youth. It’s even more helpful to interact with youth because they can’t help but keep it real and open your eyes when you actually start to believe the grown-up crap that is being fed to us on a daily basis.

In a general conversation with my younger brother about guys and what sometimes frustrates me about them. He admitted : “Yeah we’re weird sometimes.” I followed with, “so is that why sometimes a guy who like a girl, doesn’t contact them regularly?” He immediately responded with “Naw, I don’t have that problem. I mean I may not text a girl how I’m feeling every minute of the day with updates, but I will definitely make contact with a girl I like!” Let me add that he said this emphatically.

So ladies, from the mouth of a single 22-year-old college student with an athletic career that keeps him training and practicing when he is not studying and partying, to your ears-I think its safe to assume that if he is not contacting you in any regard, he is just not as into you as you are into him. (Now, fellas if I am wrong, you need to speak up).

The way I see it is a guy can at least contact you to say “I’m really busy, but I’m interested.” Plus in this modern world of email, texting, social-networking etc. Is there really a valid reason as to why they couldn’t contact you.

I think as women we spend a lot of time making excuses for a guy’s behavior, when they don’t even ask to be excused. I will say that most guys have issues with being direct (even though they claim they don’t), partially because they want to win at everything (even if it is being player of the year) and sadly I think that even weighs more than them not wanting to hurt a woman’s feelings. But here’s the deal: We all have to be real with ourselves and question how much we value ourselves. Who doesn’t believe that they (at least) deserve a phone call?